Grieving Our Losses and Humanity’s Fall

The Fall

‘The Fall’ by Amâeil

I remember it. More accurately I would say that I’ve felt it – the fall of humanity’s consciousness. I have felt the excruciating anguish, the pain, and the intense cosmic rage.

This trauma is in the collective memory. It’s resided in our cells all along, but now, it’s more accessible than ever before, creating both liberation and challenges.

The planetary consciousness is awakening into soul embodiment, the 5th dimension of the 2nd harmonic universe (dimensions 4,5,6). Depending on our personal consciousness development, it can surface a great deal of trauma, not just from the 5th dimension but from the parallels in the 3rd and 4th harmonic universe.

The Universal Time Matrix is as follows:

5th Harmonic Universe/Density 5

  • Light and sound of the Holy Trinity of the Godhead: Mother Arc, Father Arc and Gold Ray Sun of Christos, from which all biological forms in all harmonic universes are created
  • Pre-matter – no planetary body, no human form, no dimensionalization, no time

4th Harmonic Universe /Density 4

  • 12th dimensional crystalline blueprint silicate matrix, Arametena
  • Christ Avatar consciousness
  • Dimensions 10, 11, 12

3rd Harmonic Universe /Density 3

  • 7th dimensional Earth, Gaia
  • Monad (oversoul) consciousness
  • Dimensions 7, 8, 9

2nd Harmonic Universe /Density 2

  • 5th dimensional Earth, Tara
  • Soul consciousness
  • Dimensions 4, 5, 6,

1st Harmonic Universe /Density 1

  • 3rd dimensional Earth, Terra
  • Personality matrix, incarnate self
  • Dimensions 1, 2, 3
12D tree of life

12D Tree of Life courtesy of

The Universal Time Matrix has 5 Universes/Densities, and each Universe is comprised of 3 dimensions. All are different stages of planet Earth’s Lightbody and all are undergoing ascension, just as we are undergoing ascension in this Earth reality. Each Universe is an aspect of the entire planetary consciousness – personality, soul, monad, Avatar. On a personal level, this is represented in our 12-dimensional blueprint level of our Lightbody/Tree of Life. In this ascension cycle, our personal human Lightbodies are evolving up through these spiritual identities – from personality to soul, monad and Avatar consciousness. There is directional movement, though it is not a systematic, linear process but very organic.

While Aramatena is the future crystalline blueprint of our Earth to which we are returning, it is also our origins. Said most accurately, these universes are simultaneous space-time cycles. They all connect to each other and to our human consciousness.

Some History of Our Fall

"Eye of God" - Helix Nebula

“Eye of God” – Helix Nebula

Please note that this is a grand simplification. The Lyran constellation, the Cradle of Civilization, was/is the 12th stargate and the original point of seeding creation in our Universal Time Matrix. It was peaceful and abundant, and aligned with Service to Others and Law of One principles. The human beings had 12-strand DNA, which held the capacity to live and love with fully embodied Krystal Avatar consciousness. When they were invaded by the Orion Groups, it resulted in the explosion of the Lyran planetary system and fragmentation, destroying the connection into the Andromedan Galaxy. The consciousness fell from the 4th universe into the lower dimensions, leaving humanity trapped in a fallen system. This was the beginning of the destruction of our 12-strand DNA, all the ensuing galactic wars, the war against human DNA and Christ consciousness, and the Service to Self ideology and control of 3D Earth primarily through the Reptilian races of the Draco and Orion constellations, and eventually the Negative Alien Agenda.

The shock and pain of disconnection has been shattering on many levels. Since these universes are parallel realities, the fall of consciousness is acknowledged to have repercussions through all the harmonic universes and the Earth we are on now. However, they each have their own traumas and histories. For example, in 7th dimensional Earth, the Hyperboreans lived in full Christ consciousness, and free of suffering, but the Electric Wars created massive fragmentation and more genetic digression. 5D Tara Earth exploded million years ago scattering fragments to create the planets of our solar system and further contributing to our soul descension.

The Ascension Opportunity

Returning Memory

‘Returning Memory’ by Amâeil

The plan since our fall has been the re-assembly of our original DNA. As we awaken and heal in our current reality, the 5th dimensional Earth, we are also potentially awakening other aspects of ourselves from other Earths. From here, the present moment of time, we can and are remembering and changing multiple timelines! Essentially, it can be described as going into these other (past) timelines to retrieve the DNA codes and change the destruction in the future timelines that resulted from the Orion Wars. The 12-Tree Grid, our blueprint, was designed with the Lyran-Sirian races to help reassemble the original Avatar Christ Silicate Matrix of the human being and reclaim all aspects our consciousness back into wholeness with our Avatar identity. This is the gift of the human form – to potentially collect, synthesize, and integrate fragments and consciousness pieces that were exploded and damaged in these cataclysms and extradimensional wars – on personal, planetary, galactic and universal levels. This is the freedom from all the pain.

A Manifestation of the Fall

As a polarity integrator and genetic pathcutter serving to rehabilitate the human DNA silicate matrix to its original Divine potential, I have been clearing the gestalt of this fallen consciousness. From a homeopathic perspective, the fall of consciousness is related to the mother of all dis-eases, the psora miasma. A miasma is a long-standing energetic blockage that becomes encoded in the DNA and creates inherited dis-ease patterns or imbalances.  Psora miasma is just one of several main miasma manifestations. Aside from the emotional and mental signature which is lack of strength, stamina, and power, one common physical symptom associated with psora miasma can manifest as erupting itchy skin issues – rashes, hives, eczema. Given that psora miasma is in humanity’s cellular record, many people have these symptoms. For those who are on an ascending path, skin issues are fairly common as the body and liver work to drop density.

Trauma Triggers Grief



When we lose something or someone that we care about and can name the experience, our personal grief is accessible and we mostly know what our pain is about. However, when we experience a loss, it can trigger the wounds of other unhealed traumas, in this lifetime or other multi-dimensional experiences. Admittedly, it can then feel like a bit of a challenge to sift and sort what is what when you’re feeling overwhelming grief. For me, the loss of my long-time feline love Mystic last August was a trauma unlike any other I have experienced in this life. It brought forward both loving and heart-wrenching memories of our time together in Lyra, and then multiple collective consciousness traumas through the universal layers. The timing has been in Divine Order, and still, along with everything else integrating through my body, it’s been another intense period of painful remembering, and letting go.

Our personal grief is connected to the collective grief of humanity, and the grief of the planetary body. They are all threaded together in our microcosmic to macrocosmic relationship. So some grief is more distant and unnameable though some of us can still feel it. For me, processing the psora miasma was like that. Depending on what our genetic material is connected to, what level of consciousness we are integrating – soul or monad or avatar consciousness, and what timelines we are integrating through our Lightbody, waves of sadness and grief, and all emotions really, can from time to time, play out to a greater degree than at others during our ascension journey. Where there is trauma there is loss, sadness, anger, fear, feelings of abandonment, victim consciousness programs, powerlessness and despair.

These emotions can be related to specific traumatic historical events whether that’s the Atlantian flood, the Christian crusades, or Egyptian Djoser invasion timelines, as examples. We can also feel the loss of the Divine Mother and her pain. Consider that planetary grief is the reversal of the Divine Mother’s creational energy, and her fallen consciousness having been used by the dark forces to ‘birth’ parasitic manifestations in the elemental matrix of the earth. At other times, deep pain may come from crucifixion memories and the repeated persecution of those of the Christ families, holocaust timelines, genocide, and satanic ritual abuse. Sometimes, the grief is related to our soul families on other planets or alien experiences. Our multi-dimensional experiences are ripe with very heavy energies, and can bring forward some intense grief and emotions, which is up to each of us to heal.

The Stages of Grieving

Grieving is giving a sacred container for the healing of any loss. It can be helpful to remember that we grieve through 5 major stages: denial, anger, bargaining, sadness and acceptance. This is not a clean, linear process, nor easy and swift, especially if the sense of loss is distant in awareness. It can feel messy. Regrets and inner conflicts can rear up. We may feel disoriented, numb, confused, and disorganized. Emotions can be explosive and suddenly arise “out of the blue”. It may be difficult to think clearly and make decisions. Any unspoken hurt can relentlessly call for reconciliation, and we may have to make our way to forgiveness to be freed of the burdens that we carry.

Knowing the stages of grief doesn’t entirely change the complexity of the experience. It doesn’t sweep away the sense of emptiness nor the gaping wound in the heart. But it does offer a context for the experience, and a way to check in with ourselves as to where we are in the grieving journey. It can help us to ground again, to release ourselves from any expectation of neatly and quickly putting the past behind, and receive the permission to be okay with right where we are. It also helps to remember that many have travelled a similar experience – and survived!

The Grieving Journey is a Healing Journey



Together, the stages of grieving is a path to peace, and very similar to the course of healing any painful aspect of ourselves that we are willing to confront: at first we may be in denial that the darkness within exists, then anger that we can’t seem to change it, and then perhaps we might try to adjust things just a little instead of fully giving over to ego’s death. Sadness can certainly be core to our pain and we can also mourn what our illusions have cost us. But finally, when we make peace with the past in forgiveness and self-love, we have acceptance.

Discerning Our Grief

There can be great deal of discernment when feeling waves of sadness, and the reaction can be relative to its causation.

When the grief feels vague and it’s not attributable to recent life events, the helpful inquiry might be, “Is this from my personal experience or the collective consciousness?” “Where is my sadness coming from? What is it attached to?” We must be willing to sit with this to feel what emerges, and to listen to our inner guidance. If it’s from the collective energy, it can possibly be observed through compassionate witness as a just a wave moving through.

When the emotional energies are stemming from some conscious awareness, whether that’s some very accessible recent loss in our lives, or some memory that we’re connecting into, or a combination, it behooves us to move through the healing process, and still with the unconditionally loving witness of the Observer Self.  When there’s some memory attached to the grief, there’s some information for us to look at because it’s quite possibly part of what we came here to re-integrate into wholeness. We look at the past to change our future. In such cases, the emotions can still feel potent even if the “story” is less tangible or incomplete. There are times, such as recently, where that collective consciousness is really strong, and so it feels just as emotionally charged as when it’s a current personal event in this lifetime.

Helpful Tools and Suggestions for Managing Grieving


‘tired and without’

  • respect your own pace of healing and do not compare your grieving experience with that of others
  • make time to acknowledge your emotions; if necessary, set aside sacred periods of time just for grieving
  • talk about your emotions with those who are supportive and understanding
  • breathe deeply through your emotional pain
  • journal about your feelings to keep your energy moving
  • dialogue with the aspect of yourself/your inner child that is feeling the grief, or any emotion, and meet his/her needs
  • if you find yourself feeling as though “everything has changed”, create perspective by acknowledging what has changed and those things that have remained the same
  • use rituals to express your grief and bring meaning to your experience
  • manage your emotions by holding your neurovascular points (new free tool)
  • remind yourself of your own self-reliance and how you have taken care of yourself during other difficult life experiences
  • give yourself permission to experience all your emotions, including any joy
  • balance your lower frequency emotions and thoughts with higher frequency energies
  • make a point of practicing gratitude for your blessings, your gifts, your values

Bear in mind, that an emotion like anger or rage, can be sometimes stirred or be augmented by entity manipulation to create chaos and disruption, and take us off our centeredness, or soul purpose. Our vulnerability at times of grieving can make that interference easier. Further, being human involves acknowledging our emotions, our empathy for others, for the planet, and for the human race, but those too can be addiction programs that repeat painful energy forms.

Therefore, additionally, these foundational practices remain necessary:12D Shield

  • build your 12D Shield daily to be able to communicate with your Avatar Christ frequency
  • reinforce your 12D shield often to protect yourself and bring yourself back to centre
  • use the “clearing negative energies” meditation
  • declare your sovereignty, and that your intent, consent and authority is with God only and all else is evicted
  • work to release associated fears
  • meditate and move into the deep still neutrality of zero point


It’s important to say that, in grieving, allowing the catharsis of emotions is vital to moving the energy out of the body and the mind. It’s natural to replay some thoughts related to our loss, or feel the emotions for some time. There is no right and wrong. Over a period of time, which is different for everyone, we may find ourselves feeling somewhat lighter and better able to cope. Perhaps the periods between emotional eruptions are longer, and there is a greater sense of acceptance in those moments. However, if we feel stuck and cannot seem to function or move forward after a reasonable time, it’s helpful to reach out for support from someone who will listen with compassion.

The bottom line is to acknowledge what we’re feeling, let ourselves feel it, discern where it’s coming from and what it’s connected to, and then neutralize it by bringing healing light to it.

vulnerable woman


Grief can be very powerful: it can almost overtake us, and leave us feeling very tired, raw, and emotionally bruised. So in moving through grief it’s wise to be very gentle and patient with ourselves, taking lots of time for self-care. Since we are processing a great deal on the inner, we may need to slow down and take more frequent pauses during the day to remain in our centre. Above all, love!

The Higher Purpose of Grieving Loss

Anybody who has suffered a profound loss will rarely argue that life will return to the way it was. We know all too well that it cannot – the absence of what mattered so much is glaringly and painfully obvious every day. Still, the heart and mind will yearn for what was. It may even distort what was, as logic has no place in emotional pain. And yet, the higher purpose in this journey of loss is, indeed, the same as with all others – growth and movement forward. The journey of a dark night of our soul calls us to question the meaning of life, of our life, and deepen the relationship we have with ourselves. What we thought we knew can be upended or expanded. We are called to look at who we are without what we have lost, so that we may see ourselves in greater truth, a higher Light. We can find ourselves having to walk through the same spaces in a different way, or move through spaces we have never visited, and deepening our self-reliance. Perhaps we learn to drop attachments or old identities built on ego. While the heart can close due to its fear, grieving is an invitation to courageously open the heart even more to meet the God Within. It’s a chance to turn inward and to be willing to sit with both the questions and the surrender. Like wheat being separated from the chaff, we gradually leave behind the pain, while retaining the learning, and hopefully, at times, we reclaim that which was lost in us. All the while, we are building a stronger spiritual core, perhaps coming into sharper focus with what matters to us.


‘Rainbow remake’

If we’re willing to stay present to our inner experiences, no matter how painful the emotions, and follow the energy that unfolds, we will find Light. At times, it can feel a long way off, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. It only means that we have yet to see it. Sometimes, to quote writer Djuna Barnes, “the unendurable is the beginning of the curve of joy.”

The Higher Self Knows

It was a few months before Mystic dropped her body that I found myself creating this artwork below. My God-Self had gifted me with the words that would help to sustain me through what was to come. May they serve as a reminder to each and every one of us, as we recover from our losses and our pain, both personal and collective, now or later, to endeavour to shine the Light that we are.

‘Radiance in Acceptance’ by Amâeil

You are love my gentle one,

naturally beautiful, just being

let not your sorrows

consume your perfection

for darkness lifts by the graceful sun

hold steady, hold open

such radiance there is in

your acceptance

♥ ♥ ♥

My services can be of assistance to you to help you to grieve your losses and release your pain. 

2019 (Amâeil) Melinda Urban