Holding Healthy Boundaries

'Middle of the road' flickrcc.net

‘Middle of the road’ flickrcc.net

Is someone crossing the line with you? We all know what it feels like to have our personal boundaries violated, but do we all know what to do about it? In my experience, developing and maintaining boundaries is difficult for many. It’s directly related to the ability to know our value, stand in our power, and create safety for ourselves.

There’s a profound reason that our boundaries often, and easily, feel breached: the free will of all of humanity was invaded by the negative aliens. This was, and continues to be, the ultimate violation of our personal sovereignty. The human Divine blueprint was usurped and genetically modified, without our consent, so we all hold this cellular memory and remember this trauma and many others like it. Left unhealed in the subconscious, we remain vulnerable to repeating the wounding.

There’s been a long-standing negative alien intention to diminish our power. The parasitic, consumptive model on this planet has instilled a “think of yourself first/service to self” attitude. Addiction patterns of victimization, and the installation of the predatory mind has created bullies and intimidators, and submissive and compliant personalities. Mind control to uphold this has invaded our brain circuitry and central nervous system. So it’s no wonder that the grand illusion of feeling undervalued can grip us at times, and compromise our ability to hold our centre. Therefore, our learning is to master relationships within the Law of One/Unity Consciousness and that includes respecting boundaries.

These planetary boundary violations manifest down into abusive or unhealthy relationships. They’re carried forward by family dynamics of physical, mental, emotional and/or spiritual abuse, through intimidation, attack, manipulation, seduction, gaslighting, violence, offensive touching, or shaming. As children, many of us had caregivers who didn’t know what it meant to truly respect us as sovereign individuals, but we had to tolerate these violations, and found ways to cope. For some, without any other experiences to serve as a comparison, abuses just seemed to be an ordinarily common way of life and didn’t consciously register as abuse.

However, the inner child knows the feeling of a violation all too well and can express this feeling of being unsafe in many ways: “I felt like I didn’t matter”, “as though I was invisible”, or “like I had no voice”.  The latter was my perception; I was controlled by being told what to do and who to obey, or I was met with a disapproving glare for voicing my anger. I eventually learned to say nothing. I felt unrecognized and diminished. Without conscious awareness, our wounds and feelings of powerlessness can cause us to violate the boundaries of others in an effort to gain back our power. Our feelings of inferiority can stir the need to assert superiority. The value in healing our wounds is not only to improve our well-being but to synthesize the polarities within, and break the generational and societal patterns.

Healthy boundaries come from regaining our power and being self-responsible. Here are just a few key considerations that may help you to respect your own boundaries and those of others:

  • raise your consciousness to what can specifically trigger you into allowing someone to cross the line with you; what was the pattern in your childhood?
  • take steps to heal your wounds: contact me if you feel you need healing support
  • anchor respect for yourself in order for others to respect you
  • know yourself: your own values, your truth, and what matters to you; it’s worth taking the time to reflect on this to establish a foundation that serves as a guide for what’s permissible and what is not
  • learn how to be present and aware of yourself in-the-moment in order to discern what feels supportive and what feels like a violation, so that you can respond accordingly; this can be challenging if your emotions never mattered or fear dominated all else, but you can’t begin to make it safe for yourself if you’re not aware of what you’re experiencing; learn to trust yourself
  • remember that most people are well-intentioned and may not be aware of how they are behaving; if someone is emotionally attacking or manipulating you, they are feeling unsafe or powerless in some way themselves, and may be doing their best also
  • be willing to speak up for yourself/your inner child and respectfully point out when your boundaries are being violated; do this consistently and repeatedly if need be
  • acknowledge and thank those who honour your boundary requests, and let go of those who can’t
  • you have a right to feel safe and seek safety right away if violations are extreme and/or your physical well-being is at risk of harm
  • know the various ways the controller in you tries to control others and crosses the line, and what triggers it
'Arts and Works #4' flickrcc.net

‘Arts and Works #4’ flickrcc.net

Here’s one suggested exercise for clarifying the felt sense of your boundary.

Firstly, be still, close your eyes, and breathe deeply for a minute or two to come into steady, calming breath. Drop into your body and bring to mind a scenario where you felt violated in some way. Note how you felt in your powerlessness, inadequacy, invisibility, ecetera. Sense where in your body you can feel the impact, and the sensations there. Check your body posture. Experiment with other memories of feeling violated to discern which sensations are consistent, or which part of your body feels it the most and alerts you to a violation. Typically the solar plexus will feel it like a punch in the gut, but it can also register in the root chakra as instability from fear, or even in the heart like the stab of betrayal.

Clear your energy by opening your eyes, and letting them rest in simple observation of what’s in front of you. Breathe deeply for a minute or two and return to a calm state.

Then secondly, close your eyes again and recall a direct experience of standing firmly in your power. Note how you feel  in your body now, and where you feel it. What are the sensations? If you don’t have a direct experience to draw upon, imagine how it would feel to be assured, grounded, fearless and neutral.

How do the two experiences differ? The difference between the first awareness in this exercise and the second now becomes your barometer for subsequent experiences. This conscious comparison can help you to notice when your boundaries are starting to be pushed, and make more conscious choices.

Those of awakening consciousness have a noteworthy boundary issue that comes with being open, empathic, telepathic, and intuitive. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of having someone spontaneously tell you what they read in your energy field, without you having invited it, or without them having asked your permission, you know this can feel “icky”.

The reading of our energies is not under “creative commons license”. Amongst friends and in circles of safety we tend to be more casual about this with the intention of being helpful or supportive. However, we still have to honour boundaries.

At times, we may pick up information from another or about another quite effortlessly. We may feel another person’s pain and want relief, not only for them but for ourselves! Yet, that doesn’t mean we have to automatically share what we sense, or worse, assume we know all about a person through that snapshot of information.

It’s valuable to remind ourselves from time to time that we are responsible for our own energies and that others are responsible for theirs. It’s important that we remember each person has a right to self-determination, privacy, and to live with their own choices as they grow, no matter what others may think or feel about it. Any person can feel quite emotionally vulnerable at times. So to read their energies, and share without careful consideration of the impact it may have, is to risk re-assaulting their wounds of having been violated at other times.

We need to ask others for their permission. If you’re delivering a message of truth, always intend to be gentle, sensitive, and acknowledge their feelings. And when necessary, we need to let others know what is, and is not, permissible for us. We can also do this firmly, but respectfully.

Healing Heart

‘Healing Heart’ by Amâeil

Each experience that reflects our boundaries, or lack thereof, can teach us about our power and what we still need to heal. When we are clear about who we are, we acknowledge our own value and see ourselves as equal to others. Nothing or nobody has a right to take this from us. When we have this inner clarity, our ability to hold our boundaries in self-respect becomes more effortless.

The 12D Shielding Technique is your primary tool to assist you in fortifying your lightbody and your boundaries.

Our boundaries are indeed organic and necessary to us, but we’re all learning to reclaim our sovereignty. And we’re learning how to live in peace and harmony with ourselves and others. So whenever we happen to allow boundary violations or violate another, let’s be aware and come back to centre with compassion and respect. Keep an open and discerning heart. This is what allows our global healing now.

“……relationship is your responsibility.
You do not have to passively accept what is brought to you. You can choose.”
Deborah Day


“Setting boundaries is a way of caring for myself. It doesn’t make me mean, selfish, or uncaring because I don’t do things your way. I care about me too.”
Christine Morgan

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Having difficulty holding your boundaries?

Are you frightened to stand up for yourself?

Commit to changing this now: contact me for a healing session.