How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways

love story

‘Love story’

With Valentine’s Day just two days many people turn their focus turns to notions of love. Ah, the desire for romantic passion is still something we sometimes think we desire to save our lonely soul; to be swept off our feet with declarations of devotion and an until-death-us-do-part heart connection. While romance can make us swoon, it is simply a means to deepen attraction. If it is not carried on a foundation of higher love it is empty and fleeting. It pales in comparison to a love that is far richer than romance and even more lasting than any human partnership; true love of self.

Much has changed on this great earth regarding love since Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote her verse, “How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways”. Right now, as the global energy shifts to a higher vibration, relationships based on the old paradigm of fear, survival and possession are being pushed into the light to reveal that these limitations no longer serve an individual’s soul development or the greater good. Shifts are occuring, and upon owning the truth in one’s heart, partnerships and friendships built on these out-dated conditions will reform or dissolve. As with any change, fears will arise while the old is released and the new way unfolds. And still, we know we can only move forward into this profound and harmonious time. As the heartbeat of the collective is transformed through a global warming of love, we will see an evolution that calls more clearly to pure love, higher than any romance or needy attachment, and broader than any previous definitions of marriage or partnership.  Relationships will arise differently than in the past and form on a more conscious basis. More than ever, the purpose of relating and intimate unions will be personal growth; the unfolding of one’s authentic self and loving oneself. **

“What does it really mean to love myself? How do I do that?” These are the questions I hear again and again from those courageous enough to plunge into the depths of their own complexity, to mine the gold that can only be found in their essence. While you may appreciate what it is to love, it is not uncommon to find that when you apply it to yourself, you are blinded by a barrier of your old wounds, shame and persistent patterns that veil its simplicity. It may help to be reminded that you are a miracle of creation and nothing less. Anytime you choose not to nurture, respect, celebrate or be grateful for yourself, you are denying yourself love. As an example, it’s generally understood that when you criticize yourself you are creating hurt rather than healing. The ways listed below are some others that may evade your awareness:

  • mistreating your body with foods your body cannot tolerate, alcohol, or drugs
  • procrastinating with tasks or goals that would benefit you or be fulfilling
  • minimizing or dismissing the pain of hurt you feel
  • leaving issues or concerns unresolved
  • denying expression of your creative talents
  • living in chaos and disorder
  • taking on others’ responsibilities to your own detriment
  • resisting making decisions for fear of being wrong
  • blaming others rather than acknowledging what needs to change within yourself

So this Valentine’s Day, enjoy the fun of romance if it’s a part of your experience just now, but also take the time to love yourself. Ask yourself, “How do I love me? Let me counts the ways.” Then resolve to add another to the list.

Perhaps these words will also inspire your true self to emerge  ………….

I love me beyond any belief of who I think I need to be,

more than any expectation of me

to be good, perfect or enough by some elusive standard,

deeper than any need to prove myself by intellect, doing or accomplishment.

I love me with as much freedom as the seagull that is carried by the highest breeze

and with as much certainty as the rising sun.

I know no reason to doubt my value,

for every sound, smile and statement that pushes past my lips

is worthy for what it stirs in the silent spaces.

If I was to simply be,

Spirit would still look upon her creation with admiration,

as a work of art with the singular purpose of evoking light.

I love me, amidst the company of great men and women,

the name given to my life as noteworthy as the rest,

my form as purely beautiful as the landscape softened with new powdered snow.

I love me past any judgment, criticism or reproach that serves to

instill fear, limitation or separation from union with Source.

I am more than any illusion of my ego.

I am no less than any stranger, sage or friend

for my heart is one with theirs whether it beats in joy or sadness,

and our expansion hungers for each other’s gifts.

I love me to the depth of my soul, the height of my spirit,

and the breadth of my human experience.

In whichever world it is that I walk,

who am I but love?

And so I AM All That Is.


Deepen your self-love. Heal.