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December 2024 Feature Article

Let Go of Regret

by Amâeil (Melinda Urban RIHR)
Awakening the truth within for sacred, inner balance

In the beautiful, sacred container that is your heart, you’re likely to find some pain, some joy, and perhaps for some, deep, deep regret. For humanity, at many moments in the past, there was great promise just as there is now. But then choices were made that moved the consciousness away from our Creators, disconnecting us from the Andromeda Galaxy, and our natural flow with Divine Intelligence. Do we judge and feel shame about this or do we learn from it?

Whatever you might have regret about, a choice you made, a split-second decision, or your reaction at some point, whatever it was, it changed you. When you look back on it you want to redo that moment so that it didn’t have the impact that it did. You dwell on it: if only you had done or said something differently so that moment wouldn’t have occurred. You scan your memory for what you may have missed that could have prevented that pivotal turn in your life. You may even bargain with God and pray for some miracle.  It may feel unjust. You wish that you could go back in time so that it never changed you. But this means you’re wanting to deny your growth. It’s not possible to undo that moment. However, it is possible to perceive it differently.

Regret takes your energy away from the present and into the past. It keeps you in a lower frequency so that your consciousness is not moving into expansion but rather stays in a holding position. And this is where lots of people operate in daily life. They believe that being as they are without changing things, without reaching deeper into their heart, is preferable to the way it would be if they stretched themselves to a new consciousness. So they think. In reality, their resistance creates inner conflict and stagnation, and they are not becoming self-sovereign.

If you look back into your past, you will see your choice points that give you the opportunity to ask yourself, “What could I have said or done differently?” But to ask this with judgment doesn’t serve you or anybody else. It only serves a useful purpose if it’s done with sincere heart and through the higher observer self that does not judge. You can inquire with curiosity, “What value can I take from my experience?”

Regret is like a touchstone to those that don’t want to move forward. What’s meant by this is that their memory gravitates to a previous time to compare ‘then’ and ‘now’. Sometimes, it’s to appreciate what they once had or what they now have, but they temper their gratitude with some judgment, or feel only the loss. They look to the past and see how their path unfolded from that point onward, and argue with themselves that it should have been different. This implies that their current life is wrong in some way. But how can anyone be certain of what should have happened or what life should be now? This creates mental looping in a story of suffering, and really holds them victim to the past experience. It creates a reality conflict in present time, an ego defense of denial, and disconnection from the truth. The past is the past and regret is pointless. It doesn’t help you to expand. The present is the only perspective from which can learn from the past. So, if your energy is being pulled back again and again into regret, how present are you to open to future possibilities?

It’s rather simple to let go of regret. All you have to do is really value where you are now. If you look at what you have now, what you hold in your heart now, even if you were to have done things differently, you would recognize that those past actions and choices informed you, and helped you to grow to become who you are now. How can you judge them as wrong? How can you look at them as mistakes? You are a vast multi-dimensional being with a multitude of influences upon your consciousness at any given moment that only your Higher Self and God can know. The past influences the present for sure, but it doesn’t have to dictate it with negative influences. It’s not that we sometimes don’t take missteps or that we don’t wish we had made different choices, it’s how we respond to them that matters. It’s that regret and the emotions that stick to it, like anger, resentment, grief, guilt or shame, are energies that act like an attachment to what was. It’s like a rock that’s sinking the boat while the boat is trying to float or sail forward.

Regret for most people acts as a buffer from being their best self. It attaches to this melancholy thinking of “if only”, and that suspends one’s energy and confuses the clarity of what comes next. So, the next time you find yourself looking to the past and then hanging onto it as though you could actually go back and relive it differently, stop yourself. Notice where you are. Ask within, “Am I trying to recapture something old? Am I still trying to be somebody I am no longer? Am I giving myself an excuse to not have to grow?” Or perhaps you’re punishing yourself from having something far grander than what you had in the past because you judge yourself as having chosen wrongly.

Some others use a past regret to push themselves forward, determined to never have that kind of regrettable choice repeat itself. They stubbornly insist that they will never again fall victim to whatever circumstance led to that regret. But this still keeps them attached to the regret and fear. Does anyone really need to keep flogging themselves with regret in order to better support themselves? Only some of it is useful – the learning. What isn’t useful is blindly pushing forward without acknowledging your spiritual embodiment journey. As you integrate the soul and monadic levels of your lightbody, you’re healing your shadow that is housed in the lower instinctual body. This would include the regret. So, if you’re hanging onto a regret, you’ll keep applying that pain onto yourself. This only weakens your lightbody while you’re attempting to grow out of your pain body and integrate your higher consciousness into wholeness. The line of self-inquiry might be, “Is there still some learning for me from that experience? Have I already learned the lesson and seen myself apply it effectively in my choices since? How have my values changed?”

The key to healing any fixation with regret is discernment. It’s only through some mindful reflection that you can reconcile what happened in the past with who you are now. This is especially true if the origin of your regret is from another lifetime. Value only the learning from the experiences of your past so that you’re free to carry yourself to the future with wisdom, and serve Cosmic Christ Consciousness and God’s Natural Laws with integrity.

You’re never standing still. Your consciousness is always evolving. So don’t get hung up either in the past or future. Stay in the ‘now’. Only being in the ‘now’ with your observer self, allows you to be neutral and free from pain. It’s the only place from which you can act and make the best possible choice for yourself. If it so happens that, at some future point, you look back and can see a different preferable choice, well, acknowledge that it’s only from that vantage point that it was possible for you to do so. If necessary, forgive yourself with lovingkindness.

When you release your regret, you’re liberated to clearly discern options for your steps forward: to play out possibilities in your higher mind, and feel them in your heart so you know what’s appropriate for you. Let the Divine feminine principle within you direct you to what is resonant. Allow your Divine masculine principle to then help you take informed, confident action. You are a child of God, held in loving compassion by your Cosmic Parents. Earth is flowing again with Divine Creator Consciousness! Don’t deny, judge, or try to negotiate the past. Be self-responsible. Observe it, heal the pain and learn from it, and feel that you are blessed with this awareness. It’s called growing, and it applies to every human being. Embrace the acceptance of growth. Be light about it. Don’t let regret hold you back from your spiritual development. Celebrate that it’s possible to free yourself from the pain that no longer supports you, and then expand your consciousness with greater self-trust. This is your Divine power.

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To listen to this article go to Being the Peace, Audio – December 2024

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^{2024 (Amâeil) Melinda Urban www.MelindaUrban.com}