‘More Of Me’ flickrcc.net
A sub-personality is part of your ego that has been created out of some need fulfillment in childhood, and stays with you as a way of coping. For example, the insecure boy becomes a bully, the girl who suffered much criticism becomes a perfectionist, and the child who didn’t get approval becomes a people pleaser. People often have several sub-personalities and these usually collude with one another. For instance, the perfectionist is best friends with the people pleaser. Neither dare allows the authentic self to show the world who s/he really is, so these ego personalities put the focus on others. The perfectionist wants to appear all put together in front of others to avoid being ‘found out’, while the people pleaser watches and anticipates the needs of others. Neither concerns themselves with meeting the needs of the wounded inner child for love and acceptance.
Sub-personalities contribute both healthy and unhealthy aspects in our lives. For example, the perfectionist contributes to expanding skills and self-improvement, and can be responsible and caring to produce highly effective standards of work. On the other hand, the perfectionist can be rigid, controlling and dismissive of his/her own successes.
The more familiar you become with your sub-personalities, the easier it is to transform the unhealthy aspects. When a sub-personality surfaces you feel more like a child than an adult, feel intense emotions, feel out of control, or face inner conflict. Take a moment to consider what type of personality often takes over in your dynamics with others. Note that a sub-personality is much more than a single reaction; it is a way of existing and shows up as an overriding pattern of behaviour. If you witness him/her closely you can make him/her more recognizable; consider how s/he walks, talks, what s/he repeatedly says, how s/he feels in your body, etc. And, of course, s/he has a fear that deems him/her necessary in your life to protect you.
Some other common sub-personalities are: controller, critic, saboteur, peacemaker, lost child, isolator, rebel, spiritualist, drama queen, manipulator, victim, comedian.
If you are on a conscious path and would like support in transforming your ego sub-personalities so that you can be free of their unhealthy aspects, please book a healing session.