After about 20 years of doing my own inner work and listening to many clients tell me their life stories, I’ve arrived at the perspective that the number one need of any person is to feel and know unconditional love – by being seen and heard. When we are not acknowledged for who we truly are, as a human being and as a multi-dimensional being, it awakens painful wounding with many tentacles. It has been that way ever since the human race was subjugated into the cycle of self-enslavement, and the harmony of the Divine Mother and Divine Father was seen as a threat to the off-planet controlling races. It’s worth reflecting then, that if we’ve experienced and learned that we’ve not been seen and heard in our wholeness, how can we see ourselves and hear ourselves in our Divinity now?
The Experience of Not Being Seen and Heard
To first get a sense of what this topic might mean to you, I’ve listed here some of the ways that you may not have been heard or seen as a child, and for each, it’s followed by how that may continue to manifest in your experience.
- You weren’t allowed to express your emotions; you are afraid of emotional intimacy, expressing your emotions and sharing your feelings.
- You had your emotions or needs repeatedly dismissed; in conflict, you make yourself wrong by default.
- You were ridiculed for your experiences; you have denied your psychic gifts or multi-dimensional self.
- Your parents didn’t listen to you when you spoke; people still don’t seem to hear you.
- You were not appreciated for your perspective; you don’t speak up and contribute your viewpoint, or you dilute your presence by living the archetype of the fool or crazy one.
- You were told what to do or things were done for you; you do not see your own capability and how to support yourself.
- You were not unacknowledged for your unique gifts; you do not share your gifts or feel you can’t be authentically yourself.
- Your accomplishments were not celebrated; you do not pause to celebrate what you’ve accomplished before you set your next goal, or you minimize what you’ve accomplished and any praise you receive.
- You were not encouraged to nurture your interests and talents; you do not have the energy or make the time and space to enjoy them, or you tell yourself they are not worth cultivating.
- You were always questioned or mistrusted in your desires or choices; you seem to seek approval from others before you accept what you know to be true for you.
- You were programmed into stereotypical gender roles; you do not own your feminine energy or operate you from imbalanced feminine and masculine energies.
If you have not yet identified how you were not seen or heard, please take a moment now to ask yourself about that. Let it be made conscious, as otherwise it will continue to be a source of unhappiness and inner conflict.
The Child’s Pain
Every one of us came into this incarnation as a wonder of creation – an innocent child full of promise. And we relied on someone to warm us, feed us, and keep us safe. No less vital to our nourishment was our need to be acknowledged for our uniqueness. To feel cherished and valued we wanted our Mom and Dad, or our caregivers, to listen when we spoke, to see what we could do, and to respect our preferences. And when we felt insecure, we wanted them to notice that we felt scared. In fact, we needed them to acknowledge all of our emotions because these were the most fundamental and earliest means of expressing who we were!!
Since people come to me to help them heal their pain, my work may skew my perception, but I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have heard somebody say that they felt unconditionally accepted. Even when they tell me that they knew they were loved, they realize that they didn’t feel acknowledged. This creates feelings of aloneness, being misunderstood, rejected and abandoned.
This is such a prevalent issue that it is not attached to birth order or family dynamic in any particular way. For example, an only child may feel she was never heard because she served as mom’s confidante and her own needs were not heard. The second born may have always been compared to his sibling so he was never accepted for his own talents or difficulties. The middle child may feel he was never recognized because he was neither seen as the most reliable nor the one with the greatest needs – he got lost. The youngest child may feel she was not seen because everyone else had already “been there done that’ and she was dismissed. An abused child certainly wouldn’t have been cherished for his/her presence, and the gifted child may have only been acknowledged for her/his intellect.
In all cases, Mom and Dad did the best they could for us, in alignment with their consciousness at the time. For some of us, sadly, this did not just mean that childhood was less than ideal, it meant being treated as invisible. The experience of not being seen and heard varies widely, but no matter how seemingly inconsequential or dire a child’s circumstances, it’s the child’s perception of those experiences that creates the trauma. If it was perceived as shaming, it was shaming, no matter how minor or innocent an incident was to Mom or Dad. If a child feels dismissed for what they feel, say or do, a child feels devalued. If this message of unworthiness or conditional acceptance is repeated often enough, a child learns that this is who they are. Self-hatred, self-abandonment and self-rejection is given centre stage in his/her self-perception.
Not being seen or heard is a tremendous set-up for continuing to seek external approval and validation, perfectionism, pleasing others, trying to belong, sexual seduction and superficial relationships, substance abuse/addiction, tyrannical behaviour, rebellion of authority, and all sorts of wounded ego coping strategies and sub-personalities.
It’s also easy to see why effective communication can pose to be such a challenge in relationships. If we are still carrying this wound, a simple mis-understanding can quickly lead to hurt, defensiveness, and unravel any harmony into conflict. Emotional vulnerability and intimacy is frightening if we cannot trust that we will be heard and seen when we share our emotions, needs and desires. Of course we would want to protect our most precious heart.
A child learns who they are through the wounds of Mom and Dad, passed subconsciously from one generation to another. But this is not just childhood pain. It is a planetary wound rooted in the split between the masculine and feminine energies that has pervaded this planet, our bodies, minds, emotions, and our Soul-Spirit. It’s known as gender splitting and it touches every aspect of our living on Earth and our experiences. It is at the core of all archontic deception strategies, which can lead to soul disconnection and fragmentation.
In this context, we can simply say that when the masculine body (active) is not connected, balanced and integrated with the feminine body (receptive), one is not being acknowledged by the other. This is why we have individuals mired in the distraction of doing, and denying the heart, or being too passive, instead of openly flowing with love, and acting upon their inspired, intuitive wisdom. This is the separation of the Divine Mother from the Divine Father. Ultimately, we do not truly see and hear our Divinity within and we remain split.
If a child is not seen, his/her feminine principle learns to disappear.
If a child is not heard, his/her feminine principle learns inner confusion.
If a child is not seen, his/her masculine principle learns to dominate.
If a child is not heard, his/her masculine principle learns to avoid.
When there is unity of the gender principles we have balanced, inner sacred, marriage- Avatar of Ascension Hieros Gamos. We can then know ourselves as the Holy Christ-Sophia, the Divine child that is sacred light, and sacred sound, and an expression of infinite love. There is no need to fight to be seen and heard. We can let go. All we need to see and hear is from within. Our God-Self is our witness.
This gender split influence carries over from other timelines, during which the feminine principle remained suppressed. In many previous periods of our history, many of us were not accepted for healing expressions of love, expressing intuitive gifts, or leading with Divine intelligence. So while we may want to be emotionally acknowledged in this incarnation, the painful illusion that persists from these experiences of persecution is the perception of being abandoned by God. This separation from God creates many spiritual fears: humiliation, self-doubt, losing identity, knowing too much, being locked up, being trapped, losing our soul, etc. These then can manifest as a feeling that it’s not safe to be seen and heard in this world and that it’s best to stay in the background or stay small.
The hierarchical patterns that have prevailed on this planet are intended to ensure that we stay in our place and do not “rock the boat”, meaning that we receive the message that we are not allowed to be authentically ourselves and be powerfully visible. In fact, we can have alien implants that hold fear thoughtforms of being found or seen, which distort our conscious desires to be seen and heard. Implants of patriarchal domination that instill the hive mind can include submitting to external power, carrying out orders, unworthiness, fear of punishment, not questioning authority, and being seen but not heard. Finding our voice to express our truth can seem very frightening as would claiming our God-selves.
The truth is that whenever we feel that we have been abandoned by God, we have abandoned ourselves – our God-Selves. God is each of us in highest expression. And it is not God that creates the atrocities of this world. Those stem from the Luciferian and Satanic forces that feel they have had a right to control humanity, and work vehemently to attack the Light. God is not the one that allows or disallows these atrocities. It’s our consciousness that changes the energies. It’s understandable though, that if our self-knowledge, galactic history, and the alien agenda has been suppressed, our DNA distorted, and our version of God made into an external saviour and perceived as a rewarding and punishing God, we have been looking for answers with blinders on and false glasses. It’s been easy then to direct the blame in God’s direction and disempower ourselves.
It can seem that we cannot step into our fullest expression and be seen and heard when these influences run so deep. We can feel frustrated to release the subconscious limitations we continue to place on ourselves, especially if we inherently know that we are here with purpose. But our power is greater than our fears. Each person has chosen to be here, and chosen to be here in a way that is helpful to humanity, no matter how ‘small’ or ‘big’ we feel.
Every person on this planet is undergoing a great deal of change right now and for some it feels incredibly intense, while for others it will seem inconsequential – it’s all relative to our consciousness and the path set out before us as part of our agreement in how we are being of service at this time.
How small we feel is also relative to the mind control that continues to hold onto the Lightbody and the messaging in the brain and nervous system. This is not a judgment if we are feeling small or powerless or even lost, it is simply the way that things are playing out. We can though reclaim our sovereignty.
See the inspiring video about Mama Shu and the power of self-perception.
In every person there is a spark of God’s Light even if it seems that that spark is almost indistinguishable. Each person has their foundation of Light and that can never been broken, extinguished or suppressed in its entirety. We do, however, have to intend and choose to access it. This may take diligence and a lot of work to step through the layers of resistance and density that we inherit when we come into this incarnation through our ancestry. Some people are here to purposefully clear that ancestral energy so it can seem especially difficult. Further, we can carry the superimposed karmic debris (dead energy and miasma) created by the NAA (negative alien agenda) and Imposter Spirits who have abused the Law of Cause and Effect, and directed their hatred toward Christ families, those with 12 strand DNA and anybody they deem to be a threat. This is the weight of humanity’s enslavement placed in our Lightbody in an attempt to keep us thwarted.
Seeing and Hearing our Divinity
However, what matters right now, as we make daily choices, is that each of us see our own Light. It’s up to each of us to see and hear who we truly are. This begins with self-honesty: being willing to take a good look at the misperceptions we have of ourselves and hear our truth. Instead of being afraid of what we may find, we lean into it and confront it, and ask, “Is this the person that I want to be and who I present to the world on a daily basis?” If the answer is ‘no’, then there is work to be done. But this is not about having to push through the obstacles, and nor is it about falling into despair. It is that each of us can access a part of us that holds a seed of truth instead of the seed of fear.
Live by what you trust not by what you fear
We can think, for example, of a tree that is planted as a seedling. In its fullest capacity it will be a magnificent tree, but only if that seedling is ‘acknowledged’ as the magnificent tree. If it is seen as ‘only a seedling’ then there is a chance it will be diminished, instead of nurtured. So the first question is, “Am I seeing myself as ‘only a seedling’ or am I seeing my magnificence?”
Vision turns the impossible to possible.
Did you see where Mamu Shu started?
To see who we want to be requires imagination and vision because if we don’t feel the way we want to be, then it’s challenging to foster it – there is nothing to grab a hold of, and there is nothing to help us to move forward and urge us on when we are doing our inner work. When we plant a seedling we trust in its full nature, its whole potential that is in its morphogenetic field. Our whole potential is in our field as well. Every part of a tree has value – the branches, the leaves, the blossoms, the roots, its colour, its fragrance, texture shape and its healing properties – and yes, any part can be compromised. In the same way, every part of us matters, and some of these can be wounded. Yet, attentive, loving care can make the difference. If we feel that we are like a seedling or a weak tree that cannot or will not offer much, then that’s what we will become. But if we can see ourselves in our fullest capacity, then we will see what beautiful fruit and blossoms we have potential to bear, and this is our en-courage-ment. We can ask, “What do I still need to see and hear in myself to know my wholeness?” and “What do I still need to see and hear in myself to accept myself fully?” Then imagine yourself this way, FEEL it, and expand!
2017 is rapidly approaching, and at its end, we merge fully with the timelines of the next harmonic universe. This vision for ourselves and for humanity is paramount because it can help all of us through our personal and collective transitions with less upheaval and more grace. We will get through this critical stage, but we want to advance the highest probability for this ascending timeline.
Let’s practice forgiveness toward those we feel did not see or hear us. Let’s forgive ourselves for not hearing and seeing who we truly are. Let’s remember that sometimes the most gentle, healing words are simply, ‘I see you, I hear you.”
My services can be of assistance to you to be seen and heard and heal the wounds of your heart. Healing with Heart to Awaken the Deep Truth Within. Appointments in person or by phone. Specializing in clearing stubborn patterns. Integrating holographic clearing of your multi-dimensional blueprint, energy psychotherapy, thetahealing®, and vocal healing. Subscribe FREE to my newsletter – timely articles, tools and inspiration.
Copyright 2016 (Amâeil) Melinda Urban www.MelindaUrban.com All Rights Reserved